I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize