It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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