Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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