Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize