Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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