so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
