he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
