I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
