do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
