i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
