i was born a porn star she said
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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