Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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