You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
