i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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