It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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