I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
