so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
