what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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