im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
