drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
