YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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