I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
