There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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