And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
