Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize