When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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