I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
