Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
