i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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