Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
