During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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