Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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