a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize