i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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