Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
