So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
