You smell like a Billy Joel song
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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