the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
