He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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