dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
organizing the empties. That sober.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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