question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
