my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
