he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
