Got a toothbrush?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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