Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize