I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
