its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
