So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
