Having a random hookup so left but love u
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
