No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
