barbara walters just said penis...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
