I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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