and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
