Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
