I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
