Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
