i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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