Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
