I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
