your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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