What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
