I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
